R.I.P

John Lok

I didn't know you very well and I did admit that at times I found you a bit annoying because you cared so much about your grade. But I do wish I knew you better. I remember how once we were stretching and I was complaining that I couldn't touch my toes and you said it was because my legs were long. You were a nice person who I remember would always participate in class. Everyone knew that you were smart since you knew the things that nobody else knew. You were in my health group and we had to work together. I honestly wished that I did try to get to know you better. You will be missed.

Long Car Rides

I haven't updated in so long mostly because I have very planned out days. Everyday is similar to the one before. I tend to rant a lot more now, since I find that writing out my feelings make me feel better hence the posts with the no comment option.

I love long car/bus rides. They are really calming. I prefer to be in my own world with my music during them. I mean I don't mind being around my friends and family but I tend to drift off into my own world. I begin to make up stories and I begin to think back to the things I've done and what I could've done. Long car/bus rides give me the chance to reflect on myself. They are so calming. I usually tend to make up stories and I find them so calming and relaxing. If the scenery is mostly trees I like it even more. I know I'm a weirdo LOL

I'm Scared

I'm scared that one day you're going to stop im-ing me. That one day you'll lose interest in talking to me. That one day we'll run out of things to talk. That one day you'll get bored of me. That one day we'll no longer hang out together. That one day there would no longer be hour long conversations on the phone. That one day we can't even be friends anymore. I'm really scared for that day because its happened before and there's a chance that it can happen again. Last time it happened, I felt like it was my fault, because I didn't brother to do anything about it, it was as if I didn't care in a way. But I do care about this and this time I'm going to do things differently. I want to keep this going and I'm not going to easily back out this time like I did last time. I want you to know that I actually care. Last time I acted different than I normally would, but this time I'm different. I'm being myself because faking it didn't get us anywhere. But I'm going to give it my all this time since I want it to last.