R.I.P

John Lok

I didn't know you very well and I did admit that at times I found you a bit annoying because you cared so much about your grade. But I do wish I knew you better. I remember how once we were stretching and I was complaining that I couldn't touch my toes and you said it was because my legs were long. You were a nice person who I remember would always participate in class. Everyone knew that you were smart since you knew the things that nobody else knew. You were in my health group and we had to work together. I honestly wished that I did try to get to know you better. You will be missed.

Long Car Rides

I haven't updated in so long mostly because I have very planned out days. Everyday is similar to the one before. I tend to rant a lot more now, since I find that writing out my feelings make me feel better hence the posts with the no comment option.

I love long car/bus rides. They are really calming. I prefer to be in my own world with my music during them. I mean I don't mind being around my friends and family but I tend to drift off into my own world. I begin to make up stories and I begin to think back to the things I've done and what I could've done. Long car/bus rides give me the chance to reflect on myself. They are so calming. I usually tend to make up stories and I find them so calming and relaxing. If the scenery is mostly trees I like it even more. I know I'm a weirdo LOL

I'm Scared

I'm scared that one day you're going to stop im-ing me. That one day you'll lose interest in talking to me. That one day we'll run out of things to talk. That one day you'll get bored of me. That one day we'll no longer hang out together. That one day there would no longer be hour long conversations on the phone. That one day we can't even be friends anymore. I'm really scared for that day because its happened before and there's a chance that it can happen again. Last time it happened, I felt like it was my fault, because I didn't brother to do anything about it, it was as if I didn't care in a way. But I do care about this and this time I'm going to do things differently. I want to keep this going and I'm not going to easily back out this time like I did last time. I want you to know that I actually care. Last time I acted different than I normally would, but this time I'm different. I'm being myself because faking it didn't get us anywhere. But I'm going to give it my all this time since I want it to last.

Who are we to judge?

So, most of this summer I've been spending my time volunteer the days are usually the same. Until yesterday, I went to the main office to get pencils but the person who was suppose to give me them wasn't there yet. There were two girls that go to my school standing outside lets call them A and B. A guy walks out of the office (he ends up being in the same class as me) and he starts walking off to his class. A says "Room 202 is that way" So he turns and says thanks before walking away. A then begins to say to B, "Wow, I wonder if he is even fit for the job, I mean look at his hair and stuff." B replies by saying "Yea, there was this girl who had dyed hair and everything. It is inappropriate for work here." A continues to say "I mean they had an interview and stuff, I mean how did he even get thru." And B goes and says "Yea, so I guess he can't be super bad right?" And then A goes and says "I guess, I mean is he even in high school?"

I was standing there the whole time thinking who are you to judge him or her. You've never seen the way they work, so what if they have dyed hair or a different hairstyle. That doesn't mean they can't be good to children. Its who they are, our hair doesn't define us. So what if they care about the way their hair looks, it shouldn't matter. What really matters is how well they look after the kids. We don't have a right to judge them because we don't even know who they are. That just got me really annoyed and stuff. X_X"

Prep&Volunteering

For once I actually enjoy going to SAT Prep. Its suppose to be 3 hours long but honestly it seems so much shorter than that. Time just flies by when I'm there. I actually look forward to going to prep everyday, mainly because there is AC and I feel like I'm actually learning stuff. I really want to do good on my SATs. I honestly hope that prep is helping me. The homeworks don't take as long as I expected them too surprisingly. I use to spend a lot of time on them especially math homework for the SHSATs and back then I had my dad's help too. Now I can finish it in less than an hour without my dad's help. I think its pretty amazing. Even though people dread going to prep, I honestly enjoy it.

Volunteer on the other hand isn't as fun. I'm volunteer this year at an elementary school and I find that I don't like it. I don't know why because the kids are really nice so are the people working there. I think that the reason I don't like it is because its so confusing. For example I went to pick up my schedule yesterday. Nobody knew where I was suppose to go and their just like okay stay and work at this classroom for a while. I did that and it was all fine. Then when I left I finally found out where I was suppose to go to sign in and stuff. And the boss guy was just like come back tomorrow. I was like what time? He was like the time you are assigned too. I told him that I never got my schedule and he was like ...come back tomorrow. So I need to go back today AGAIN. But this time I'm not going to work I'm just going directly to the office to get my schedule and get it over with. Because I don't even think they took down the times I worked yesterday.