LMFAO

So, while I was suppose to be studying yes I'm feeling dead from studying D: and from finals. Arghs..my brain hurts D: my friend showed me the site My mom's a Fob and it just made me die. These were my favorite ones.

This was over breakfast.

Mom: So, do you have boyfriend yet?
Me: No, no. Not right now.
Mom: This good. You must protect your rose.
Me: … my rose?
Mom: All girls have rose. It no good to lose it early. Boys want to pick your rose, but you no let them. If every boy pick your rose, garden will be empty!! Then what give your husband then? No one will want to marry you. *dramatic sigh* Then you end up with old man with bad teeth, like Mama here.

and from the site My Dad's a fob

My buddy Phil was telling me about a lecture his dad gave him one day.

“Phil! You think you can get an “ABOVE job right out of school?”

“No!”

“You need to first do Below Job for a long time, like me.”

“After long time of Below Job then you can get Above Job!”

“Then you get someone else to do Below Job!”

and

Dad: So, any boyfriends?
Me: Nope.
Mom: Well, she had a fling.
Dad: What’s a fling?
Mom: You know…when something’s not really going anywhere. She had one with Gabe.
Dad: With a GAY?? That’s REALLY not going anywhere!